Home No. 5

Hi, I'm Jami Attenberg. I write books, and much, much more. My fourth book, The Middlesteins, came out in 2012. You can order it here or here. My fifth book, Saint Mazie, will be published in 2015.

Also I like dogs and fighting crime.

This is the fifth place to find me on the internet. Please don't tell me I need a sixth.

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I was writing last night (and am still thinking) about public expressions of grief and general reactions to tragedies, and how I respect your right to have those public expressions even as I choose to ignore them because all they do is make me feel worse. I watched all my feeds ignite on Friday and I felt terrorized even though I feel certain that was not the intention.

But I wanted silence. And just to feel for those who had truly been hurt in a personal way. So I worked on my writing quietly and let the rest of the world be devastated as they wanted.

I have to not be on the internet now when bad things happen. This I know. I have to step away not only from the news cycle but the grief cycle. I saw a friend on Saturday who said she had spent Friday refreshing her computer, looking for news, even though she knew better than to engage in that kind of behavior. A day later, she was not well. That is what she said.  “I am not doing well.”

I guess I sort of felt “better” than her because I saw what happened and then I stopped paying attention until much later in the day. I knew there was no new information I was going to get out of it. It was terrible, guns are terrible, people are crazy.

I love you all. I want to embrace you. I respect your anger. I am angry too. We are all sad. I will help when I can. But I have to get off the ride.

  1. nichelle reblogged this from jamiatt and added:
    Writing exactly how I feel. Thanks, Jami.
  2. patricksomerville reblogged this from jamiatt
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